Archive for November, 2011

How to teach your kids values


How to teach your kids values

Values are the principles you viewed to be right and important in life. One of the important areas which parents must look into when raising kids is the imparting of values to their children. Although it sounds easy but to effectively imparting your values to your children can be difficult and it needs a lot of patience and time. Parents have great effects on a child’s future lifestyle, so it will be wise to develop a positive lifestyle for your kids to follow.

So what should you be doing in order to effectively impart your values to your little ones?

1. Your children learn from you

To “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t apply to the children of the modern world. It will only be smart to set good examples for your kids to follow because they love to learn from you. So do consider the values you will like to see in your children so that you can set an example for them to learn and follow.

For example, if you like to see politeness in your kids, you would need to display politeness when communicating with them or other people. You have to be a polite person before your child can follow your step.

Take another example; if you want your child to be humble, you would have to be humble yourself. You should not be displaying a sense of arrogance or feel too proud when dealing with people. Always eat your humble pie when you commit a mistake to show your humility. That way, they will learn from your value and follow the way you deal with things.

2. Praises means approvals

When your kids display positive behaviours, you should not forget to praise them. Praising is important because it is one of the more effective ways in which you can show your approval to them. Your children feel good and proud when they are praised by you and with such good feelings, they will want to behave positively again and again.

3. Learn from others

Whenever you see suitable situation, you can point out the positive behaviour or misdeed done to your children. Teach them the value of the good deeds done and hence, they can learn from others. There are actually a lot of such situations you can make use of. These examples can be from TV, newspaper or even when you are out shopping with them.

One important point to take note is that never compare your little ones with another child who have just did something good. If he or she is belittled by your comments, you will only cause negative effects on your child’s mind.

4. Get your children to help

I’ve seen parents stopping their child from helping with the house chores because they have a maid at home. Without having to help out in the house, their kid may grow up not knowing how to help others and expect everything to be prepared for him or her.

When children are given the chances to help out in the house, they will develop a sense of responsibility in them. With the ability to fulfill their responsibilities, they can grow up more confidently.

Imparting values can be simple when raising kids. As long as you know how to set examples, expose them to good and bad behaviours, teach and praise them, you will be able to impart your values to them easily.

Jeff Boo is an Educator with many years of teaching experience and a Father of a pair of twins. Both he and his wife are very experience in handling children If you are truly concern about your children’s learning journey, log on to http://www.essentialsforparents.com and sign up for your FREE instant access to the Children’s Resources Centre!

Massage your baby

Make sure she has a healthy body image


Make sure she has a healthy body image

Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:

Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.

Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.

Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.

Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.

For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com

Keep it short – 15 minutes to bed


Keep it short – 15 minutes to bed

Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed.

Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room.

Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep.

The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”.

Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed.

Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there.

In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com

To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…

Unleash The Parental Leader Within!

Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.

He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.

How to give your baby pain relievers


How to give your baby pain relievers

kids and summer

With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?”

Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.

In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:

1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep

How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:

8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)

Eat a healthy breakfast

Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour

Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good.

Eat a healthy lunch

Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:

a) a playground

b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)

c) a play gym

d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)

e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a

brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they

want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!

f) kick around a ball together

g) walk in the countryside

h) go to a museum

i) go to the zoo

j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade

popsicle or ice cream!

k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house

l) play catch

m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a

short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)

n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good

music and have an enjoyable time together)

o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.

p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths

q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a

good book while they play)

Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!)

Eat a healthy dinner

Spend some quality family time together

To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.

Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep.

Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/

Imparting Good Values


Imparting Good Values

Values are the principles you viewed to be right and important in life. One of the important areas which parents must look into when raising kids is the imparting of values to their children. Although it sounds easy but to effectively imparting your values to your children can be difficult and it needs a lot of patience and time. Parents have great effects on a child’s future lifestyle, so it will be wise to develop a positive lifestyle for your kids to follow.

So what should you be doing in order to effectively impart your values to your little ones?

1. Your children learn from you

To “do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t apply to the children of the modern world. It will only be smart to set good examples for your kids to follow because they love to learn from you. So do consider the values you will like to see in your children so that you can set an example for them to learn and follow.

For example, if you like to see politeness in your kids, you would need to display politeness when communicating with them or other people. You have to be a polite person before your child can follow your step.

Take another example; if you want your child to be humble, you would have to be humble yourself. You should not be displaying a sense of arrogance or feel too proud when dealing with people. Always eat your humble pie when you commit a mistake to show your humility. That way, they will learn from your value and follow the way you deal with things.

2. Praises means approvals

When your kids display positive behaviours, you should not forget to praise them. Praising is important because it is one of the more effective ways in which you can show your approval to them. Your children feel good and proud when they are praised by you and with such good feelings, they will want to behave positively again and again.

3. Learn from others

Whenever you see suitable situation, you can point out the positive behaviour or misdeed done to your children. Teach them the value of the good deeds done and hence, they can learn from others. There are actually a lot of such situations you can make use of. These examples can be from TV, newspaper or even when you are out shopping with them.

One important point to take note is that never compare your little ones with another child who have just did something good. If he or she is belittled by your comments, you will only cause negative effects on your child’s mind.

4. Get your children to help

I’ve seen parents stopping their child from helping with the house chores because they have a maid at home. Without having to help out in the house, their kid may grow up not knowing how to help others and expect everything to be prepared for him or her.

When children are given the chances to help out in the house, they will develop a sense of responsibility in them. With the ability to fulfill their responsibilities, they can grow up more confidently.

Imparting values can be simple when raising kids. As long as you know how to set examples, expose them to good and bad behaviours, teach and praise them, you will be able to impart your values to them easily.

Jeff Boo is an Educator with many years of teaching experience and a Father of a pair of twins. Both he and his wife are very experience in handling children If you are truly concern about your children’s learning journey, log on to http://www.essentialsforparents.com and sign up for your FREE instant access to the Children’s Resources Centre!

How to give your baby pain relievers

No more all night kid party sessions.


No more all night kid party sessions.

Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed.

Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room.

Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep.

The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”.

Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed.

Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there.

In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore.

Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?

To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com

To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…

Unleash The Parental Leader Within!

Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.

He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.

How to burb your kiddo

Kids can thrive in a single parent home


Kids can thrive in a single parent home

Negative Effects of Single Parenting

Normally when people think about the effects of single parenting, they consider only the negative aspects of the situation. While there is a great deal of potential for a child to develop negative effects of being a child in a single parent home, there is also the opportunity for them to thrive as well. One of the most common negative effects that can come from this situation is a decrease in the academic performance of the child. When the child or children have too much to deal with and are not given a good way to vent their frustration or resentment, they will often slack at school in an effort to gain attention or lash out.

Other negative effects of single parenting can include an increased risk of becoming involved in crime, alcohol or drug abuse, and other delinquent behavior that can negatively affect the child’s future. The reason that children of single parents tend to gravitate towards these behaviors is because of a lack of supervision, or because they do not receive the guidance or attention that they needed in order to deal with their feelings and the loss of a parent.

Positive Effects of Single Parenting

The positive effects of single parenting are often less discussed or applauded, but they do in fact exist. When a single parent takes the time to embrace being both a mother and father for their child and does everything within their power to make sure their child or children gets the help they need, then the following positive effects can occur.

Children of single parents have an increased ability to build stronger bonds with their remaining parent. If that parent opens themselves up and allows their child to come to them with any problem they might have, then the child will develop a bond with that parent that allows them to stay on a focused and responsible path.

Those who are raised by a parent that goes out of their way to get the children the emotional help they need after the loss of a parent have the ability to get better grades in school, shine socially, and to excel in all aspects of their lives without succumbing to peer pressure in order to fit in. Counseling after a parent has left or passed on will give a child all of the tools that they need in order to cope and not rebel or fall into detrimental behaviors.

There are both negative and positive effects of single parenting, and both should be considered closely. If a child is give the nurturing attention that they need during this difficult time, then they can steer away from the negative behaviors that they may have fallen prey to, and will be able to excel the same as or better than those from a two parent home.

Becoming a single parent is not an easy task for an individual to accomplish, and it is often a step that they were unprepared for. There are many side effects of single parenting which have the opportunity to both positively or negatively affect an individual. Find out more at http://www.singleparentingguide.com.

Parenting Video by Tony Hawkins

Summer fun with your kids


Summer fun with your kids

With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?”

Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need.

In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day:

1) Routine
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep

How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like:

8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am)

Eat a healthy breakfast

Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour

Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good.

Eat a healthy lunch

Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to:

a) a playground

b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!)

c) a play gym

d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store)

e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a

brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they

want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity!

f) kick around a ball together

g) walk in the countryside

h) go to a museum

i) go to the zoo

j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade

popsicle or ice cream!

k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house

l) play catch

m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a

short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!)

n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good

music and have an enjoyable time together)

o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc.

p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths

q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a

good book while they play)

Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!)

Eat a healthy dinner

Spend some quality family time together

To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children.

Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep.

Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/

Communicating calmly - parenting 101

How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your Kids


How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your Kids

Many children go through a phase in which they show anxiety and restlessness in the presence of unfamiliar people or situations. A baby may be unsettled by a new babysitter. A four year old may cry persistently during the first few days at kindergarten. These are perfectly normal situations and reactions.

One in every 25 children experiences some form of separation anxiety which can often be allayed by allowing the child to have a period of adjustment to his new situation. However, a child five or older who demonstrates unremitting resistance to camp, school or daycare for an extended period of time (3 weeks or more) may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder.

What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?

This is a condition in which the child becomes physically agitated over the thought of being separated from his primary caregiver or home. It is not confined to children. Adults can experience separation anxiety as well; it is known as “agoraphobia,” or fear of being separated from a safe person or home. “Agora” in Greek means marketplace and the word “agoraphobic” refers to people who are terrified of leaving home for the market.

What are the Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder?

- The child complains of headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes he or she throws temper tantrums.
- The child has an irrational fear that something bad will happen if she leaves the house or caregiver.
- The child shows unusual concern about being kidnapped or taken away.
- The child fears that the caregiver might die.
- The child fears being alone, even in a separate room.
- The child has nightmares of being separated.
- The child cannot fall asleep unless caregiver is nearby.

What Can Be Done about Separation Anxiety Disorder?

If the child’s anxiety is so excessive it interferes with normal functioning at home and at school, it is wise to consult professional help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies provide a framework in which children can learn about their fears and how to deal with them.

In essence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapies help children identify negative thoughts rather than external events, as the source of anxious feelings and behavior. They also help children develop skills for self reliance and self help. They help them practice alternative responses to anxiety so that new neural pathways can replace old circuitry in the brain. Achievement of goal is predicated on the children’s ability to unlearn old patterns and replacing them with new responses.

Why is Professional Treatment important?

Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children should be taken seriously and that parents should seek professional treatment because untreated children usually perform poorly at school, have repeated absences from school, experience problems relating with peers and siblings or become alcohol or drug dependent when they grow older.

Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com

Parenting Video by Tony Hawkins

Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself


Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself

Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:

Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.

Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.

Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.

Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.

For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com

How to give your baby pain relievers

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