Archive for December, 2010
Get your baby to stop crying with a pacifier
Bullying in our schools? Who’s job is it?
In his recent ABC news opinion column, “Want to Stop Bullies?” Lee Dye cites new studies that claim that:
- Girls are more likely than boys to intervene to stop bullying than boys are.
- Girls intervene more because they’re expected to by their parents, best friends and favorite teachers.
- Popular males are more likely to pick on weaker boys, while unpopular, weaker but aggressive boys are more likely to pick on girls.
Of course. So what? I’m glad Mr. Dye is speaking out and I share his desire to stop bullies and harassment, bullying and abuse in schools. The reason I’m sarcastic is that I think these studies, done by interviewing 269 middle school students in four schools in North Central Florida, are typical of the thought process and pseudo-scientific research that says that:
- If we knew more we could design better programs to stop bullies.
- There’s a simple formula, waiting to be discovered by further research that will tell us what to do so anyone, anywhere could use the blueprint and stop bullying in schools
- We can’t have successful anti-bullying programs until we have more research.
However, these assumptions are all false and this research adds nothing we didn’t already know. And the generalizations they’ve already come up with are contradicted by evidence from the recent suicide deaths of four girls in Schenectady, New York.
We already know that getting the kids involved in anti-bullying programs is critical. We already know that it’s crucial to teach children what to do when they are bystanders and see bullying. In order to incorporate that knowledge into anti-bullying programs, we don’t need to wait until there’s more pseudo-science research to prove that point.
In summary, we know that it’s everyone’s job to stop bullying in schools and everyone’s help is necessary, especially the kids. No one group can make a program work if the other members of the local community resist or are uncaring. The programs in New Hampshire are only the latest reports documenting what we know already.
Successful programs have the seven elements crucial to success:
- The programs specify acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
- Children are taught specifically what to do if they’re bullied or if they’re bystanders.
- The programs involve everyone – school board members, police, principals, teachers, administrative staff and bus drivers, the kids, and at least a vocal, core group of parents.
- Consequences are clear and effective action rapid.
- Courageous and proactive administrators, school principals and teachers.
- Kids are also trained at home not to bully and how to stop bullies.
- All steps are implemented simultaneously.
Anti-bullying laws are necessary to force reluctant or uncaring district administrators and principals to act. They’re also necessary to protect principals and teachers who do act from bullying parents who defend their little terrorists and threaten to sue the principal and school for harassing their little bully. That’s like in the Harry Potter series where Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco.
The biggest problem in stopping bullies is not the lack of research about bullying: It’s the lack of skillful effort being put forth by the most caring people. At many schools, well-meaning principals and teachers need to join forces with a core group of parents to get programs in motion. At other schools, frustrated and angry parents need to rally other parents in order to force uncaring or cowardly school district administrators and principals to make effective school policies and then take act promptly and strongly.
Resources Cited: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/Story?id=7517300&page=1
Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.” He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site and blog http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com
Help your kids get along
Help your kids get along
If you are a parent of more than one child you may find that sibling rivalry adds a great deal of stress to your life. And worse yet unfortunately, by allowing the process of sibling rivalry to work itself out, it adds additional stress to a parent’s life. The key to handling this as a parent is to be aware of the benefits of sibling rivalry and help your child enhance these skills in other positive and productive ways. Some of the skills to enhance the benefits and avoid the pitfalls of sibling rivalry are as follows:
· Always use prevention as your best defense. Since most fighting is a way to draw your attention to them, try to short circuit that from happening in the first place. You will want to incorporate special time with each child. Try to set up schedules, stick to them and make yourself available to each of your kids. You can have your kids go on special outings with each parent and do different things with each child.
· Give your kids a break from each other. If it is at all possible, separate your kids. It is important to let them have time alone while driving, at a friend’s house, visiting relatives, etc. Remember just like adults, kids need their own time and if they get cooped up in the same space for a long time they get irritated.
· Everything is not about sharing. While sharing is an integral point of getting along, often fighting occurs because kids feel out of control. Have your child choose two or three things that are theirs and theirs alone. Put the items on a shelf or in a special box and make it known that these are items that they do not have to share. This way your child feels like he has some control over his things and may be much more likely to share other items with his siblings.
· Always strive to appreciate your kids at all times. At certain times in life this can be more difficult (the teen years for one). Try to notice how often they get along without fighting. Pay special attention to their good qualities and what is unique about each child and remember that it’s their job to work things out, not yours. Remember your job as a parent is to be a role model, promote good feelings, open up clear lines of communication, develop mutual respect, and monitor your kids and their needs.
· Teach your kids to develop problem-solving skills. You want to give your kids the guidelines and skills to solve problems for themselves. Problem solving skills are often one of the things many adults lack. You can ask each kid during a family meeting how he or she can get along better with their sibling. You will want to discuss what things they might need from the other and ways to brainstorm possible solutions to these problems.
· Let go of the perfection expectations. As a parent you need to let go of your urge to worry and your expectation of being a perfect parent. The same thing goes for your kids. Despite all of your best efforts, if you have more than one child, prepare yourself that at some time they will fight and its o.k. It can also be important to learn how to roll with the punches and to ask yourself, “How big of a deal will this be in five years?” Learn how to enjoy life and laugh a little more and your kids will be better for it.
Visit http://www.surfnetparents.com for more For more parenting advice and ideas.
Gaming Night is a great way to bond.
Gaming Night is a great way to bond.
Does your heart yearn for family relationships as good as those portrayed in the 1970s television series “The Brady Bunch”? Adults, teenagers and younger children getting along despite the occasional squabble. It seems idyllic, but is it attainable?
Many families spend much of their weekend time going to a variety of sporting events, while television and the internet provide much of their weekly entertainment. With all these activities, there doesn’t seem much time to build family unity.
While our hearts may desire quality time with our children, this often occurs when we simply spend quantity time with them. Vacations and other special activities are good, but a weekly time of family togetherness can accomplish great things. Family games nights can fulfill this aim.
As an example, our family sets Wednesday nights as a family games night. We have a special meal and then play games for an hour or two. While there are many commercial games you can purchase, such as Monopoly(R), you could also play a different game every week for a year using nothing more than a handful of dice and a deck of cards. We like to play some favourite games and also try some new ones.
During one of our games nights we played Pig, a simple dice game that is suitable for all the family, using just one die. (The plural for die is dice.) Each player throws the die and adds their score for each throw until they choose to stop or until they throw a One. If they stop before they throw a One, they keep their score and add it to their score from any previous rounds, with the aim of being the first player to reach fifty points. However, a throw of One cancels their score for that round and ends their turn.
As we played, two of my sons developed very different strategies. One son chose to stop if he got to ten points in any round while another son would try to score 50 points every round. He often scored well over thirty points before crashing back to zero as he threw a One. We had so much fun watching them play that we chose to continue scoring to 100 points. (By the way, neither son won the game in the end!)
Other activities are useful for building family unity but games have the advantage of allowing everyone to play together, no matter what their age. Indeed, it can be very amusing to see a teenager or adult being beaten by a six year old. As well as having fun and building relationships, children learn many life skills (such as reading and/or counting) and social skills (like communications and team work). That sounds like an ideal combination – education, fun and family!
Andrew owns Family Games Treasurehouse which has rules for over a hundred family games. Visit http://www.family-games-treasurehouse.com and sign up for our free newsletter to download our ebook, “25 Family Dice Games”. This article is copyright but may be freely republished provided the text, author credit, site links and this copyright notice remain intact.
Age difference between siblings
Age difference between siblings
The difference between my eldest and youngest is 18 years, however, it is not this difference in age between the youngest and eldest children that causes much of an issue, it is more so the difference in age between each individual child.
Starting from my eldest to the youngest the difference in age between children goes a little something like this:
Number 1 – Number 2 = 23 months
Number 2 – Number 3 = 14 months
Number 3 – Number 4 = 3 years, 8 months
Number 4 – Number 5 = 17 months
Number 5 – Number 6 = 23 months
Number 6 – Number 7 = 20 months
Number 7 – Number 8 = 20 months
Number 8 – Number 9 = 20 months (is there a pattern forming here ;P)
Number 9 – Number 10 = 21 months
Number 10 – Number 11 = 11 months
From the numbers above I’d have to say that the ideal difference in age between children most definitely goes to the 20-23 month period. This time gap ensured I had a full recovery from the previous pregnancy and I was able to get a consistent routine between children. By the time I found myself pregnant again I was fully able to dedicate myself to the newborn and the transition into the family was made extremely easy, this also enabled us to still provide a lot of quality time to previous children, especially the child preceding the newborn without creating any unwanted sibling rivalry or jealousy.
At 20-23 months most children are learning their own independence and although this is usually an introduction to the terrible two’s I can confidently say that this did not create too much drama for our household. All in all I favour this difference in age between children purely for the fact that there is not too much of a gap where children find communicating or playing with each other somewhat difficult, there are still moments of growth that they are able to share, experience and discover with other siblings.
Having detailed the easier spacing to deal with between children, the not so difficult but not so easy range would have to be 14-17 months. At this stage patience can be a little strained but with the tried and true routine I still believe this age gap is manageable. 14-17 months usually indicates the end to bottles and an introduction to the toddler years where walking leads to running and the discovery of one’s other senses through increased mobility. This can be a trying age when your 14-17 month doesn’t quite comprehend all instructions as adequately as an almost 2 year old, especially when you are trying to feed your newborn child.
I suggest that if your toddler is awake during feeding times for your newborn that you sit them down quietly beside you to share some reading time, have them turn the pages while you read the pages or even make up a playful story as the pages are flicked in the “no set order” that your toddler will assume or engage them in blocks or creative hand play where you can comment on the activities at hand while you continue to concentrate on providing a relaxed feeding time for baby. Enjoy the moments as much as possible and try to include your 14-17 month old in the daily routine of your newborn so there is a sense of belonging and role of importance for your toddler.
I also need to touch on the more than 3 year gap. I also have a 3 year gap between my older sister and I and I believe this difference in age between children may be hard to gauge. From experience the age gap was very challenging for me, I felt as if I always wanted to do what my older sister was doing but felt restrained due to being 3 years her junior. However the contrast I have with my own children is that my daughter is 3 years older than her brother and this doesn’t seem to have been a major issue, so I guess the gender of your child can play a major part in the difference in age between children.
At the complete other end of the spectrum is the less than 12 month period. I strongly believe that had I had an 11 month period between any of my other births, I may not have had so many children. The 11 month period between my number 10 and 11 was extremely difficult. Keeping in mind that I have a wealth of knowledge, tips and tricks from 10 previous children, we were not prepared for the 11 month gap. It came as quite a surprise as we had always wanted twins or a multiple birth but after having Troy (number 10) and Tiana (number 11) we have a new respect for parents of multiple births.
It almost became a daily struggle where both babies needed the same if not exact attention and time. Initially it was slightly easier to cope with until I returned to work when Tiana was 3 months old but this left Ieremia holding both babies and I know he has some stories to share with you all. From my experience the 11 month and under gap is extreme and possibly not something I would recommend unless of course you had alot of support from your partner or family during the first 18 months.
When all is said and done I believe that there are many contributing factors to whether there is an ideal difference in age between children but based on experience I would have to stick to the 20 month and above gap.
For more on the trials and tribulations of our family … where there’s never a dull moment and we share our experiences in raising children and welcome your queries and feedback, please feel free to visit http://www.4my11kids.com
Looking forward to “seeing you” there
Roseanne
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Tips For Parenting Teens – Parenting Teenagers Tips
Teenage years are a time of turmoil for both the parents and the children. Read the article below to get tips for parenting teens.
Parenting Run (Not Nearly Far Enough) Amok Awards – NYTimes.com
Commemorating products, decisions and events that gave helicopter parents a bad name in 2010.
Parenting Fail « EPIC FAIL .COM : #1 Source for Epic Fail and Fail …
Parenting Fail. Posted on December 21st, 2010. Related Fail. Submitted by Monique D. Fails 86 Fail it … Tags: inappropriate pose mom shows goodies parenting fail sonPosted in People Fail …
Parenting Coaching and Explanations About How It Works
When there is any problem which becomes very serious for the family, parenting coaching steps in and in that cases, it could take longer than normal. In general, some parents take these coaching for 6-12 weeks but, it depends on the …
Parenting School Years Magazine Discusses “How to Teen-Proof Your …
“You need to say to yourself, there must be a reason for this behavior,” she tells Parenting School Years magazine, “and I need to take the time to ask.” If the behavior goes beyond mood swings and insecurities and into troubling …
No more all night kid party sessions.
No more all night kid party sessions.
Parents are always concerned with how to balance their role as parent and effectively raise happy, healthy, and respectful children. It can especially be challenging for a parent to know what to do and how to do it when your child has behavioral difficulties and he or she refuses to go to bed.
Although it is common for children to need about at least a 15 minute transition to get fully settled and ready for bed, some children take this time to act out and put unrealistic demands on his or her parents. He or she becomes “tyrant” like and needs 12 bedtime stories, 252 kisses, and he or she still will not let you leave the room.
Here are 3 strategies to handle bed time routines when you child takes more than 15-20 minutes to settle down and go to sleep.
The first one is to make sure that you give your child at least a 10 minute warning before going to bed. It is helpful to use the TV as a natural ending time. You can even let your children know ahead of time by saying “after this show it is bed-time”.
Second, after the show is over make sure you do not allow them chances to “get out” of going right away. Things like “I’m hungry, and I’m thirsty, or I have to go to the bathroom for a third time” can be legitimate request. However, it is best that the child doesn’t eat or drink anything at least 30-40 minutes before bed.
Finally, if you child insist on reading a story allow them to pick one or two stories. The total reading time for a child should be between 10-15 minutes. Longer reading times than that can cause power struggles and especially when they are afraid will be used as “ammunition” to keep you there.
In conclusion, also remember that your child tends to do what works. So the simplest way to change his or her difficult behavior during bed time is to not make his or her strategy work anymore.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New eBook – “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
No more tears!
Keeping your kids away from the electronics
When parents discuss how much media they allow their children, the answers vary wildly. Some parents have very strict time restrictions on their children’s media viewing while others give their children more control over the time they spend on media.
How do you know when your child is getting too much media?
One mom knew she needed to allow less video game time when her 7-year-old son started not wanting play outside or do things with the family preferring his video game instead. He was so attached to playing his video game that he often pitched a fit when he was told the game had to go off. His games didn’t have a good way to save the game for later so he was reluctant to stop playing and lose his place in the game.
She decided to reduce his video game playing to one hour twice a week. She started giving him a 10 minute warning before his hour was up. When the 10 minutes were up, he could either choose to shut the game off or she would turn the power off. It only took a couple times of turning the power off to get him to shut the game down in time.
What are signs that digital usage is becoming a problem?
If your children are exhibiting these types of behaviors, it’s time to think about reducing the time they spend on media:
• Spending less and less time with family and friends
• Difficulty focusing on the present moment due to craving video game or cellphone
• Developing health issues such as Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, eye strain, weight gain, backaches
• Withdrawing from sports, hobbies and social interactions
• Losing sleep due to gaming, texting
• Acting irritable or discontent when not using digital items
• Declining grades in school, missing school
• Talking and thinking obsessively about the digital activity
• Denying or minimizing any negative consequences
If you feel your child is addicted to video games and will react extremely to having limits set, it is wise to seek help from a professional counselor or psychologist.
What do the experts recommend?
Hilarie Cash, psychotherapist and co-author of Video Games & Your Kids, makes the following recommendations for personal screen time (computer, TV, video games). This time does not include computer time needed for homework.
• Under 2-years-old: no screen time
• Preschool: 1 – 2 hours/day
• Elementary: 2 hours/day
• Junior/Senior High: 2 – 3 hours/day
She also recommends no TV, internet or gaming consoles in children’s rooms. The primary problem with having these devices in children’s bedrooms is that parents have more difficulty monitoring what’s going on.
Won’t it be difficult to set limits?
It can be very hard to set limits around digital entertainment. These digital devices keep our children content while we benefit from some free time. However, when we realize our children’s media usage is having a negative impact on them, we need to set some limits despite our children’s protesting.
With older children, it can help to explain why we’re concerned about the time they’re spending on digital entertainment. Engaging them in deciding what reasonable limits should be set may help them in sticking to those limits.
We may also need to change our own behavior so that we are modeling reasonable digital media usage. While this won’t be easy, it will provide the time to try other activities. Perhaps this will be the summer your family discovers how much fun it is to go biking together!
Kathy Slattengren is a noted parenting speaker, trainer and founder of Priceless Parenting. Priceless Parenting provides an online parenting class which teaches effective discipline techniques for positively dealing with misbehavior.
To receive regular parenting tips, sign up for the Priceless Parenting monthly newsletter.
How to bond with your family
How to bond with your family
Does your heart yearn for family relationships as good as those portrayed in the 1970s television series “The Brady Bunch”? Adults, teenagers and younger children getting along despite the occasional squabble. It seems idyllic, but is it attainable?
Many families spend much of their weekend time going to a variety of sporting events, while television and the internet provide much of their weekly entertainment. With all these activities, there doesn’t seem much time to build family unity.
While our hearts may desire quality time with our children, this often occurs when we simply spend quantity time with them. Vacations and other special activities are good, but a weekly time of family togetherness can accomplish great things. Family games nights can fulfill this aim.
As an example, our family sets Wednesday nights as a family games night. We have a special meal and then play games for an hour or two. While there are many commercial games you can purchase, such as Monopoly(R), you could also play a different game every week for a year using nothing more than a handful of dice and a deck of cards. We like to play some favourite games and also try some new ones.
During one of our games nights we played Pig, a simple dice game that is suitable for all the family, using just one die. (The plural for die is dice.) Each player throws the die and adds their score for each throw until they choose to stop or until they throw a One. If they stop before they throw a One, they keep their score and add it to their score from any previous rounds, with the aim of being the first player to reach fifty points. However, a throw of One cancels their score for that round and ends their turn.
As we played, two of my sons developed very different strategies. One son chose to stop if he got to ten points in any round while another son would try to score 50 points every round. He often scored well over thirty points before crashing back to zero as he threw a One. We had so much fun watching them play that we chose to continue scoring to 100 points. (By the way, neither son won the game in the end!)
Other activities are useful for building family unity but games have the advantage of allowing everyone to play together, no matter what their age. Indeed, it can be very amusing to see a teenager or adult being beaten by a six year old. As well as having fun and building relationships, children learn many life skills (such as reading and/or counting) and social skills (like communications and team work). That sounds like an ideal combination – education, fun and family!
Andrew owns Family Games Treasurehouse which has rules for over a hundred family games. Visit http://www.family-games-treasurehouse.com and sign up for our free newsletter to download our ebook, “25 Family Dice Games”. This article is copyright but may be freely republished provided the text, author credit, site links and this copyright notice remain intact.
intransnet.org » Tips For Parenting Babies
Taking care of or parenting babies may seem simple enough. They need to eat, sleep, be kept clean, and they need to be in good health. These things are easy enough, though some parents fear that they will not do these things correctly. …
Parenting Guides And Their Usefulness
Child-rearing books are a fantastic tool for both brand-new moms and dads as well as those who’re already taking care of a couple of sons and daughters and.
My best vegan parenting tips aren't mine!
Re-introducing our vegan parenting site Spawn Better!
Good Parenting Skills | Help & Teach Our Children
Good Parenting Skills Parenting is difficult enough. And so is skill. And so is good. Putting them together is like doing Calculus while balancing.
Parenting: Where To Go 12/10/10 – NY1
Parenting: Where To Go 12/10/10 | Parenting correspondent Shelley Goldberg offers family-friendly tips on NY1 News, Time Warner Cable’s 24-hour newschannel in New York City.
Kids Playgroups?
Kids Playgroups?
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls.
One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority.
Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s.
One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Help your daughter keep feeling good about herself
Teens have changing bodies, and a lot of pressure to look and be a certain someone. This can be both good and bad, however, in many instances it can take a toll on their personal self image. Teens often have warped body images. The following are some tips for encouraging a healthy body image:
Help them create their own style: In many instances your teen is going to have an unhealthy body image because they see clothes that someone skinnier, or more curvy, or more buff, or taller can wear, and they do not look the same in them. So, help your child love their body by finding clothing and a style that works for them. They are never going to have a positive self image if they are trying to look good in clothes that do not flatter their body.
Do not let them debase themselves: One of the best things you can do for your teen when it comes to their body image is never allow them to put themselves down in your presence. Set firm rules about it. If you hear your teen say they are fat, or that they have ugly freckles, or that they are plain, or that their hair is too stringy, or that their legs are too hairy, or whatever they complain about, stop them dead in their tracks. Anytime you hear your teen say something they do not like about their body, make them tell you five things that they do. They have to know that complaining about their body, and hating themselves is not okay with you. Be strict about it, and be sure to tell them things that you love about them any time you hear them complain.
Talk about what appearance means: When your child is struggling with their body image, it is important to talk to them about what appearance and body image means. Help them to understand that images are different to different people. What one person likes, another may not. Just like you may be more attracted to blondes, than brunettes. Appearance is in the eye of the beholder, so your child needs to stop trying to make themselves look better for others, and simply make their body what will please them. Once your child understand this, body image, and having a more positive feeling about their own body will be easier.
Be a positive role model: If you want your teen to have a positive, healthy, body image, your best means of encouragement is to have one yourself. If your teen constantly hears you talk about dieting, and remaking yourself, wanting a better stomach, or whiter teeth, or whatever it may be, they will start feeling the same way. They will find that no matter what they look like, or how great their body is, it is not good enough. So, be careful to be positive about your own body, and never put yourself down in front of them, or it will give them permission to do the same about their own body. So, encourage a healthy body image through example. If you do not have a healthy body image, then fake it in front of your child.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com