Archive for June, 2009
The first 5 years
The first 5 years
Providing the child the most optimal environment for developing his foundation for life can be a daunting period. You will not succeed. You will face obstacles seemingly out of your control, violence on TV as well as overwhelming propaganda, the limiting factor of the school system, the child and their piers and your short comings just to name a few.
One thing for sure is the best thing you can equip the child with for living life is for them to get that the measurement of success in life is in the amount of joy experienced. That is the condition the parents can influence their family to pursue. This is the greatest gift that can be instilled in children by any adult.
It is critical in my view that children have the self confidence that is strong enough to overcome the oftentimes brutal effects the institution of forced schooling can have on the child. The range of quality schools varies tremendously and generally speaking there are but a few that are enlightened enough to provide the kind of environment we are discussing here. Compulsitory schooling by nature is limiting not expansive. If a child leaves school with a sense of himself displaying all the confidence and enthusiasm for a satisfying and fulfilling life, the experience was worthwhile. This article isn’t about schools however; it is about providing some insight into the necessity of putting and keeping in place for the first five years of a child life the primary conditions for successful living.
You can not hide your child from all the elements of life that will be encountered, because that is part of life. Surprise will always be there. But you can assist a child in understanding the principles that can enable them to face any experience in a way that leaves them stronger in their sense of who they are, not less. You will make mistakes no matter what you do. And the advice you would give your child when they make a mistake in life will be by the way you handle the mistakes you make with them. For they learn by example. Children learn how ‘be’ by their observation of how others are being, especially their parents. How you ‘be’ matters more than you know.
Remember this, the body is a multi-sensory organism, and even as an infant, it is interpreting of over 400 billion pieces of data per second. That is difficult to comprehend. Based on the conclusions it has made to date, its beliefs and assumptions about life, the brain then is processing one hundred thousand chemicals sending them to the cells of the body. The point is you are incapable of fooling the child in terms of what it is reading in your behavior around them. If you are being inauthentic they will know. Even if they are not capable of reading you intellectually, they will read you emotionally. If the child learns that seeking happiness is the greatest pursuit, they will have learned it because they observed that you lived your life that way.
Okay, here is the good news. If our aim is to be joyful in life, we will have taught our children the most important and fundamental purpose of life. The natural unfolding will be the continuing discovery of what works to have a great life. The child and parent will discover along the way, everything that is necessary to live a life that allows all their dreams to come to pass. Happiness and joy is a state or condition in which freedom, no resistance, and love reign. It obeys the law of attraction as an absolute. It abides by the teaching, ‘do unto others as you would have them to undo you’, but never at the expense of your own happiness in life.
Long before I had my children I remember saying I wasn’t going to raise my mine the way I was raised. Matter of fact I’ve heard quite a few parents utter those words. Age has made me wiser. And for the most part I didn’t, but that didn’t mean that the influence of my own childhood didn’t somehow shape the father I became. No matter how your childhood was for you, it affords you the insight on how you’ll choose to be when you embark on the adventure of parenthood. And of course if you are about to or if you are already raising your children, this is only the beginning. It can and should be the most enjoyable ‘adventure’ of your life. It is kind of an adventure in that you only get to enjoy it as it unfolds. The best advice I could give parents in raising their children is to bring joy to every moment that you possibly can. It is in joy that the child creates the most optimal foundation of self love. Those first five years are so critical, it’s immeasurable.
Of course every year thereafter is critical as well but the child is the deliberate creator of his or her own story. And doing their next five years having become familiar with previous will be of great assistance. A low self esteem plays a difficult burden on the years in front of anyone. If you can be the best parent you can for the first 5 years, no doubt you will have trained yourself long enough to continue being that way. You are only teaching yourself really.
Just another note in this vast topic the most brilliant awareness information I have found for parenting is in the study of the law of attraction. Affirm the best in your child every time you can and find the best interpretations for the rest. Never emphasize apparent fault but look for aspects that work.
If you understand about the power of directing your emotions in a particular kind of way, I invite you to visit and learn about the iCap.
http://www.insightsforworkability.com
Biofeedback has advanced beyond our imagination. You can discover and manage your emotions such as to seek and discover more joy and happiness than you can imagine. And because of the personal computer, the cost is affordable and the advances have been remarkably pleasing.
Stop by when you can.
Leon Cautillo, Author/Instructor
Parenting Fail. posted by jason on June 27th, 2009. Related Fail. parenting-fail4. Submitted by Peter H. Fails 1 Fail it … Tags: bimbo daughter girl horny men parenting failPosted in People Fail …
Madonna with Mercy on Her Back | Celebrity Parenting
Madonna was spotted with her new daughter, Mercy James, giving a piggyback ride. Two of them are very much attach to each other after attending services at.
Sonny Corinthos' Parenting Skills : Soaps on ABC – Soaps on ABC …
Sonny Corinthos’ Parenting Skills. June 26, 2009 by Dexie · Leave a Comment. After all the destructive crap Michael has pulled the minute he woke up from coma, he gets rewarded by none other than his Father who will never get the Father …
BBQ Bananas with Nuts | Parenting Advice
On their idle time, your children would appreciate some sweet offerings for snack. Here is when this delicious recipe for kids can come in handy. BBQ Bananas with Nuts are not that expensive and is quite easy to do but it packs some …
ADD ADHD Parenting: Building the House of Respect – Preparing Your …
Want ADD ADHD parenting help? You’ll find it in this article that explains the blueprint for preparing your child for success, ADD/ADHD, ODD, or not.
Kids Playgroups?
Kids Playgroups?
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls.
One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority.
Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s.
One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Visa commercial teaches bad parenting – TV Squad
It’s not the fact that the little girl has the freakiest of eyes, it’s the fact that the father pulled his daughter out of school to go to the aquarium. Since I’m not a parent, I often forget that kids don’t make their own schedules and …
Mombian » Blog Archive » LGBT Parenting Roundup
LGBT Parenting Roundup. Politics and Law. Amicus briefs are coming in to Florida’s third district court of appeal from LGBT and other civil-rights groups, in support of a circuit court decision that allowed a gay couple to adopt two …
Effective Teen Parenting is Challenging | RaisingYourKid.com
We all know that the teen years can be viewed as a journey from childhood to adulthood, but consider that teen parenting can be seen as a similar journey. In.
Picket Fence Post » Three for Thursday: 'Imperfect,' 'Confessional …
The Boston Globe shined a spotlight on â??confessionalâ? parenting blogs (like True Mom Confessions)and the spate of â??imperfect parentâ? books (and â??Bad Motherâ? by Ayelet Waldman). Saying that this is the best time to be a â??bad parentâ? and …
Sex and Sleep | PhD in Parenting
Photo credit: At the end of a very long day by KitLKat on flickr There was some banter the other day on twitter comparing sleep with sex. I’m not sure if.
Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s
Kids and the Case of the Missing Tree’s
Years ago, we walked a mile to school without batting an eye. Then we walked back home, stopping often at the park to play unattended, unsupervised. After all, it was a park and kids were supposed to play there.
These were assumptions we took so placidly in those safer days before Madeleine McCann and Tori Stafford. The stories of these girls’ terrible abductions remind us that the situation confronting parents and caregivers is totally different in this day and age. Our kids are driven to school in buses and cars. We would think twice about letting them walk home alone, unsupervised. Allowing them to play alone in the park or woods behind the house is unthinkable.
The result is that our children are growing up with less personal contact with the natural world. As Richard Louv says in his book Last Child Out of the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder, “Today, kids are aware of the global threats to the environment–but their physical contact, their intimacy with nature, is fading.”
Are We Depriving Our children of a Connection with Nature that is Essential for Positive Growth and Development?
This is the question Louv asks in his book. He makes a strong case for the consequences our children will suffer when deprived of an intimate relationship with the natural world. He makes the case for the growing rise of ADHD, ADD and other behavior problems as a direct consequence of a lack of contact with nature in our children’s lives. Nature Deficit Disorder is showing up as hyperactivity and violence in our society.
He cites studies that show how exposure to natural settings (even for 20 minutes) increases the capacity for attention and focus in children. Students who take a 20 minute walk in the park perform better on tests of memory and attention. Other research studies show that children in public housing who have access to green space perform better emotionally and intellectually than those who do not have such access. Tests also show that just looking at nature can improve test scores.
Investing in Children
Louv insists that time with nature and in nature is an act of investing in our children’s health. It allows them to reconnect with a fundamental part of ourselves that is larger than life and allows them to appreciate the wisdom of cyclical and universal forces.
Take our child hiking as often as we can.
Replace part of our lawn with native plant. Maintain a bird bath.
Have a pebble hunting party in the park or beach.
Build something with the stones and pebbles collected.
Build a tree house or fort in the backyard.
Give our children a pet. It can teach them so much about natural wisdom.
Make a daily Green Hour part of the family tradition.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Picket Fence Post » Three for Thursday: 'Imperfect,' 'Confessional … The Boston Globe shined a spotlight on â??confessionalâ? parenting blogs (like True Mom Confessions)and the spate of â??imperfect parentâ? books (and â??Bad Motherâ? by Ayelet Waldman). Saying that this is the best time to be a â??bad parentâ? and … Mombian » Blog Archive » LGBT Parenting Roundup LGBT Parenting Roundup. Politics and Law. Amicus briefs are coming in to Florida’s third district court of appeal from LGBT and other civil-rights groups, in support of a circuit court decision that allowed a gay couple to adopt two … Visa commercial teaches bad parenting – TV Squad It’s not the fact that the little girl has the freakiest of eyes, it’s the fact that the father pulled his daughter out of school to go to the aquarium. Since I’m not a parent, I often forget that kids don’t make their own schedules and … The Rhythms of Parenting : Gen Y Guide Sarah Newton Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the natural rhythm of parenting and how it is different for us all. I believe we all have our parenting flow or rhythm, so to speak, and for each of us it will be unique. … BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » Parenting's worst- case … 13 Responses to â??Parenting’s worst- case scenarios as entertainmentâ?. Comments RSS. Julie W Says: June 25th, 2009 at 6:38 am. I have read several of Jodi Picoult’s books but that was pre-baby. I have absolutely no interest in them any …Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose
Who should stop the bullying
Who should stop the bullying
In his recent ABC news opinion column, “Want to Stop Bullies?” Lee Dye cites new studies that claim that:
- Girls are more likely than boys to intervene to stop bullying than boys are.
- Girls intervene more because they’re expected to by their parents, best friends and favorite teachers.
- Popular males are more likely to pick on weaker boys, while unpopular, weaker but aggressive boys are more likely to pick on girls.
Of course. So what? I’m glad Mr. Dye is speaking out and I share his desire to stop bullies and harassment, bullying and abuse in schools. The reason I’m sarcastic is that I think these studies, done by interviewing 269 middle school students in four schools in North Central Florida, are typical of the thought process and pseudo-scientific research that says that:
- If we knew more we could design better programs to stop bullies.
- There’s a simple formula, waiting to be discovered by further research that will tell us what to do so anyone, anywhere could use the blueprint and stop bullying in schools
- We can’t have successful anti-bullying programs until we have more research.
However, these assumptions are all false and this research adds nothing we didn’t already know. And the generalizations they’ve already come up with are contradicted by evidence from the recent suicide deaths of four girls in Schenectady, New York.
We already know that getting the kids involved in anti-bullying programs is critical. We already know that it’s crucial to teach children what to do when they are bystanders and see bullying. In order to incorporate that knowledge into anti-bullying programs, we don’t need to wait until there’s more pseudo-science research to prove that point.
In summary, we know that it’s everyone’s job to stop bullying in schools and everyone’s help is necessary, especially the kids. No one group can make a program work if the other members of the local community resist or are uncaring. The programs in New Hampshire are only the latest reports documenting what we know already.
Successful programs have the seven elements crucial to success:
- The programs specify acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
- Children are taught specifically what to do if they’re bullied or if they’re bystanders.
- The programs involve everyone – school board members, police, principals, teachers, administrative staff and bus drivers, the kids, and at least a vocal, core group of parents.
- Consequences are clear and effective action rapid.
- Courageous and proactive administrators, school principals and teachers.
- Kids are also trained at home not to bully and how to stop bullies.
- All steps are implemented simultaneously.
Anti-bullying laws are necessary to force reluctant or uncaring district administrators and principals to act. They’re also necessary to protect principals and teachers who do act from bullying parents who defend their little terrorists and threaten to sue the principal and school for harassing their little bully. That’s like in the Harry Potter series where Lucius Malfoy protects his vicious son, Draco.
The biggest problem in stopping bullies is not the lack of research about bullying: It’s the lack of skillful effort being put forth by the most caring people. At many schools, well-meaning principals and teachers need to join forces with a core group of parents to get programs in motion. At other schools, frustrated and angry parents need to rally other parents in order to force uncaring or cowardly school district administrators and principals to make effective school policies and then take act promptly and strongly.
Resources Cited: http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/DyeHard/Story?id=7517300&page=1
Ben Leichtling, Ph.D. is author of the books and CDs “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks,” “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids” and “Eliminate the High cost of Low Attitudes.” He is available for coaching, consulting and speaking. To find practical, real-world tactics to stop bullies and bullying at home, school, work and in relationships, see his web site and blog http://www.BulliesBeGoneBlog.com
Surviving summer when you're pregnant – Parent to Parent … Anything and everything on raising a child, from one parent to another. Avoid These 5 Adoption Blunders! â?º Parenting-N-Families In over 21 years of working in the field of adoption, I have seen and heard of every kind of blunder you could imagine in adoption. Some were made out of. teens – Parenting Message Boards – Parenting.com Community Mighty Maggie: “Before we had kids I did a lot of handwringing over parenting mixed-race children, especially as I was going to be the Majority Parent. Angst! Drama! Fervent blog reading! Then we actually HAD the kids and, well, … Black Genocide is Happening Now in North America | PARENTING … Maafa 21 – Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeusbhevqao Maafa 21 – Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oV5eznv6ro Since 1973, legal abortion has. Sample Baby Shower Wording Ideas, Baby Shower Cards Sayings & Baby … Help with Baby Shower Wording Invitations Verses, Baby Shower Cards Wording Ideas & Sayings for Baby Showers Announcements The baby shower invitations.How to burb your kiddo
Kids Playgroups?
Kids Playgroups?
Playgroups are social gatherings with moms and their kids, that allow the kids to play with other children around their same age, and moms to socialize. They are often held at the park, or at someone’s home, and can be a lot of fun. Despite the fun involved and the fact that playgroups are sort of a rite of passage for mothers, there are some pitfalls.
One of the pitfalls many mothers recognize with playgroups is that often it is more for the moms than it is for the kids. This often results in the moms socializing and the kids are not being watched as well. Many a parent has gone home from playgroup with a child who has a scratch, a bump, a diaper that has been dirty for a long time, etc. When the moms start talking, they tend to neglect their children. Even if you go as a mom who watches your child well, if other moms are not watching theirs, it can mean your kid gets hit or scratched by someone’s child, and they do not do anything about it. So, if you intend to go to a playgroup, try to find one where the moms will socialize, which is important, but watching kids is the first priority.
Another of the common pitfalls of a playgroup is that it is a prime place for germs to spread. Basically, you can’t control whether or not another mom brings their kid to playgroup sick. In some cases, a mom will crave the social interaction so much that she won’t consider that her child has a cold, had the flu a few days before, or any other illness. This means that your child could be getting sick because someone else did not consider their child’s germs. Because the whole point of a playgroup is to get moms out of the house, and get kids interacting, it often leads to people coming no matter what, with sick kids, with ornery kids, etc. this is not a good situation to put your child into. So, there is a good chance your kid will be at risk. Obviously this is not always the case, and you can find good playgroups where everyone is really respectful of how their child’s health could affect your child’s.
One of the biggest pitfalls of a playgroup is that your child is either going to thrive or drown, there is not much in between. Kids tend to gang up when in larger groups, and your child could be the one being picked on. The problem with playgroups is that generally some kids will thrive, and others will wilt. This is especially true of already shy children. So, if your child is not an aggressive personality, it could actually make them more introverted then they already are. Of course, in some instances a playgroup can help your child to blossom and open up because they are exposed to new things, but you will need to choose your playgroup carefully if you do not want to make your child even less social than they currently are.
For more parenting tips, visit http://www.surfnetparents.com
Effects Of Single Parenting | Control Your Weight Effects Of Single Parenting Different Effects of Single Parenting to Children and Single Parents What are effects of single parenting to adult? Single. Consequences Of Single Parenting | Control Your Weight Consequences of Single Parenting Consequences of Single Parenting There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone. 6/25: Parenting Advice from the Trenches : Pebbles and Pundits Kidsâ?¦when it comes to parenting, even the littlest angels can be devils. In her new book, 13 is the New 18, author and Associated Press columnist and editor, Beth Harpaz, shares her experiences raising a trying teenager. … Challenges Of Single Parenting | Control Your Weight Challenges Of Single Parenting Challenges Of Single Parenting One of the hardest issues to survive in, as a single parent, is an overwhelming emotion that you. Game Theorist: Parenting through the ages In the New Yorker this week, a very interesting article about parenting magazines and books. Jill Lepore looks at a couple of recent parenting books and the origins of parenting advice. She argues that prior to the 20th century, …No more tears!
Kids and Workouts
Kids and Workouts
Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children.
In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years (Vitesse, 2008) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill.
In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike.
Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family.
Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on parenting, parenting skills, pregnancy and dads, parenting tips, baby names, baby rooms and many more topics related to dads.
THE LO-DOWN : Educational Alliance Holds Parenting Workshop Parenting experts Hannah Wiltshire and Ruth Wyatt will discuss how to set limits for your children at a workshop the Education Alliance is sponsoring July 8th. Wiltshire and Wyatt, of Everyday Parenting, will talk about how to … BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » Family Files: Date night … Momversation; How to deal with your chatty kid before coffee â?? Alphamom; Turn lace-up shoes into slip-ons â?? Parent Hacks. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. … Very upset with Parenting – Parenting Message Boards – Parenting … I was in the dentist’s office today and saw the older-kids version of Parenting. My first reaction was that I should subscribe to the magazine. Then I sat down to read the article in the June 2009 issue titled, “It’s Not Fair”. … Are Cheerios too high in salt to be a healthy baby snack … Chad Skelton blogs about the latest tips and trends for today’s parents. Mrs Claus Visits Parenting Experts Dixon Hammer & John Wright … Mrs Claus Visits Parenting Experts Dixon Hammer & John Wright Authors & Producers of ‘The Liberated Parent‘ A Transformational Parenting.Get your baby to stop crying with a pacifier
Workout with the kids
Workout with the kids
Many fathers live a well-rounded healthy lifestyle with regular workouts that involve their kids. First-time dads who think a new baby will interfere with their exercise schedule need not sacrifice their workouts but do need to supplement their parenting skills to include exercising with their kids. The trick here is to come up with kid-friendly routines. These routines are equally rewarding and also help in establishing healthy habits among children.
In an interview to the Associated Press, Heidi Hill, author of Fit Family: The Infant, Toddler and Preschool Years (Vitesse, 2008) explains how parents can hike, bike, run, and even kayak with their kids. Heidi and her husband, Tom have put this into practice by trying out many of these sports with their two daughters, aged 3 and 5 each. ”At the get-go, a lot of it can be miserable. You really have to persevere and know that you’re teaching a lifestyle.”, says Hill.
In the beginning, dads could try to fast walk with a jog stroller or jog alongside their kids as they bike. The key lies in using the right equipment that is not too clunky. A trail-a-bike is a one-wheel option that can be attached to the back of dad’s bike.
Workouts are a great way for dads to bond with their kids. As kids grow older, the positive effects of having family workouts increases exponentially. Dads need to listen to some good parenting advice by self-educating themselves and planning the workout in advance to make the experience fun for the entire family.
Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on parenting, parenting skills, pregnancy and dads, parenting tips, baby names, baby rooms and many more topics related to dads.
Breakthrough Parenting â?? Moving Your Family from Struggle to …
Family court judges in one of the largest counties in the State of Washington now specify in court orders for parents that they â??â?¦must take parenting classes such as Breakthrough Parenting.â? Over several years these judges have seen the …
BabyCenter: MOMformation » Blog Archive » Family Files: Date night …
Momversation; How to deal with your chatty kid before coffee â?? Alphamom; Turn lace-up shoes into slip-ons â?? Parent Hacks. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. …
Alec Baldwin writing a book on parenting. Stop laughing. We're …
Actor and awful father Alec Baldwin is writing a book on parenting. We assume it’s title will be â??Do As I Say, Not As I Do.â?
Brad Pitt Gives Parenting Tips | Famecrawler
Brad Pitt is a normal guy, just trying to make it in his kid’s world.
Why I blame Jon, not Kate – Parent to Parent – Jennifer Gish …
Anything and everything on raising a child, from one parent to another.
Separation Anxiety in kids can be a real issue
Separation Anxiety in kids can be a real issue
Many children go through a phase in which they show anxiety and restlessness in the presence of unfamiliar people or situations. A baby may be unsettled by a new babysitter. A four year old may cry persistently during the first few days at kindergarten. These are perfectly normal situations and reactions.
One in every 25 children experiences some form of separation anxiety which can often be allayed by allowing the child to have a period of adjustment to his new situation. However, a child five or older who demonstrates unremitting resistance to camp, school or daycare for an extended period of time (3 weeks or more) may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder.
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?
This is a condition in which the child becomes physically agitated over the thought of being separated from his primary caregiver or home. It is not confined to children. Adults can experience separation anxiety as well; it is known as “agoraphobia,” or fear of being separated from a safe person or home. “Agora” in Greek means marketplace and the word “agoraphobic” refers to people who are terrified of leaving home for the market.
What are the Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder?
- The child complains of headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes he or she throws temper tantrums.
- The child has an irrational fear that something bad will happen if she leaves the house or caregiver.
- The child shows unusual concern about being kidnapped or taken away.
- The child fears that the caregiver might die.
- The child fears being alone, even in a separate room.
- The child has nightmares of being separated.
- The child cannot fall asleep unless caregiver is nearby.
What Can Be Done about Separation Anxiety Disorder?
If the child’s anxiety is so excessive it interferes with normal functioning at home and at school, it is wise to consult professional help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies provide a framework in which children can learn about their fears and how to deal with them.
In essence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapies help children identify negative thoughts rather than external events, as the source of anxious feelings and behavior. They also help children develop skills for self reliance and self help. They help them practice alternative responses to anxiety so that new neural pathways can replace old circuitry in the brain. Achievement of goal is predicated on the children’s ability to unlearn old patterns and replacing them with new responses.
Why is Professional Treatment important?
Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children should be taken seriously and that parents should seek professional treatment because untreated children usually perform poorly at school, have repeated absences from school, experience problems relating with peers and siblings or become alcohol or drug dependent when they grow older.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Right Angles » Blog Archive » This is a Parenting Problem, Not a … This is a Parenting Problem, Not a Health Insurance Problem. Posted June 22nd, 2009 at 6:52 AM by Donna Martinez. More and more kids are being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Experts say it can be traced to terrible eating habits and a … Parenting My Teen #46 : Moms Talk Radio Parenting My Teen #46. June 22, 2009 by Christina. It’s so hard to see our children growing up, isn’t it? While that’s the ultimate goal, of course, it seems like in no time flat they go from being this cute little helpless bundle of … Alec Baldwin to pen parenting book | Hollywood Bytes Alec Baldwin to pen parenting book. Washington, June 22 (ANI): Alec Baldwin is planning to pen a parenting book as the actor fears parents may be going too soft on their kids. The 30 Rock star, who previously revealed that he had become … Kid noises – Parent to Parent – Jennifer Gish – Parenting Blog … Anything and everything on raising a child, from one parent to another. The IR Guide to Parenting â?? Off the Kuff If one parent is alone at home and both kids are awake, the balance of power isn’t in the parent’s favor anymore. Instead of double-teaming them, they get to double-team you. And once the kids are mobile, you learn about another key IR …Use the blue bulb from the hospital to clear babies nose